Imagining where I would be

Single Woman’s 30-day Blog Challenge, Day 7: Where you are in your life vs. where you thought you would be at this point

futureview

When people ask me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?” I always want to say, “I have no $^&(%#*\ idea.” I don’t even know where I see myself tomorrow, let alone years from now, and I don’t know if I ever have.

Sure, I used to daydream about my wedding day and write out the first and middle names of all of the children I was going to have with my imaginary husband, but that was years ago. I mean, more than ten years ago.

For much of my life, however, I could not imagine my future because I didn’t want to have one — I wanted to die. It wasn’t until age 36 when I decided to stop drinking and entered a program of recovery that I was able to consider what the future might hold for me, and then I started living my life one day at a time.

I’ll tell you what: I never imagined I would be 45 and living in a small apartment in North Dakota with an antisocial cat (and no spouse or children). I never imagined I would have a job in a car dealership. I also never thought I would be running marathons or working part-time as a personal fitness coach. And I never considered the possibility that I would feel better and be happier and healthier at age 45 than at age 25.

I never thought I’d be where I am now, but I sure am glad I got here.

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